I’m not sure The Books prep you enough for the drastic and seismic shifts that come with baby mobility. So, in the spirit of the USA’s rousing Winter Olympic performance, I present a few humble suggestions for the IOC’s consideration:
Event: Speed Crawling
This usually occurs on the oval track in the lower level of Spring Street Stadium. The competition is brutal as we have a dog who is also very skilled at making quick turns and has a keen sense of smell to guide her. Cecilia’s crawling has improved all season and the committee awarded her a silver medal.
Final Result: Gold Medal to Mom, for she has both the finesse and strength to out crawl all competitors. A surprising bronze to Papa who showed good form in the grandparent division.
Event: Uphill Stairs run
The stairs at Spring Street Stadium are known for their soft track and easy turns. The trickiest part of this course is figuring out where to jump as there are some corner stairs that are larger and call for increased agility and stamina. Cecilia takes the ‘one stair at a time’ approach and has a history of being distracted by the guard rails, fuzzes on the track, the starting mat (aka rug). Her usual nemesis, Daddy also has challenges on the stair run. Spring Street Stadium Stairs has a nasty overhang that is a disadvantage to tall people. One false move and Daddy can (and has) scrambled his brain, putting him out of competition for a few hours.
Final Result: Gold Medal to Lola, the dog just knows how to climb stairs and beats the whole family up them every time. Lola’s signature victory dance entails her sitting patiently at the top peering down at the competitors below her as if to taunt them on their human slowness.
Event: Downhill Stairs run
This course had to be temporarily shut down. We apologize to those who already purchased your tickets for this event please do not go to the course as there is a gate blocking the entrance to go downstairs. Hopefully this event will be active again by 2014.
Event: Water Luge
The water luge event takes place in Spring Street’s lower level aquatic center. The course winds from floor to tub, then through a toy obstacle course, back to the floor in a matter of 15 minutes. Cecilia enjoys putting on her skin suit for this event and has a habit of taking off her warm up diaper seconds prior to her start time. Cecilia always gets a good head start, but then slows down when it comes to the toy obstacle course. She finds the floating ducks and boats a distraction. Lola has been disqualified from this event every time due to a graphic doggy paddling injury in her youth. At least that’s what she claims. There are also rumors that she just doesn’t like getting her fur wet. Mom also routinely withdraws from this event. She finds that Water Luge is an event for Daddy and Cecilia and decides to wash the dinner dishes instead.
Final Result: Gold Medal to Daddy, somehow Daddy always outwits Cecilia on this event. He has learned that he doesn’t even have to go in the water to complete the course. He is so skilled at the water luge that he is always at the end of the course waiting for Cecilia’s finish with a warm towel.
Event: Pairs Kitchen Dancing
Kitchen dancing usually takes place before or after dinner. Pairs teams are usually Daddy and Cecilia and Mommy and Lola. Daddy and Cecilia have some nice synchronized moves such as the triple cabinet drawer opening and the double dog bowl pick up. Mommy and Lola also have a few tricks up their sleeves like the dishwasher dip, and the dropped peas round up. This year Cecilia did take a risky but not life threatening fall on the tile floor. Luckily Daddy was there to pick her up.
Final Result: Gold goes to Daddy and Cecilia for their artistic interpretations, winning smiles and dueling air guitars.
Closing Ceremonies: This 10 month 2010 Olympics has been an inspiration for all. Through injury, sickness, training, and achievement all of these athletes reached their goals. Stay tuned for 2014!